Day 3: Taco Time!

I'm going to skip the part where I elaborate on how badly I wanted cheese today (on a scale of 1 to I'd Do Terrible Things For It, I was at an easy 250), and jump right into the glory of dinnertime.

Tonight I tackled Chickpea Tacos & Guacamole. This is not a difficult thing for the average chef to prepare, nor the person with an adequate knowledge of how to chop multiple items and set them in a bowl. Still, it was a big achievement for me. Here's how it went.

This is anexample of how to overfill your taco and turn it into an exploding mess.

Chickpea Tacos & Guacamole (serves 2 people who have the tendency to overeat)

1. Mash 1 avocado. You accidentally put it in the fridge, so this part's going to be a nightmare. Good luck.
2. Chop 2 tablespoons of white onion. You'll have a terrible eye for estimation, so you'll chop 1 teaspoon worth, put away the onion, wash the cutting board, and clean off the knife several times before you make enough.
3. Mince 2 cloves of garlic. "Mince" seems like a friendly enough verb. It sounds like a tiny, effortless task. This part should be a breeze! The trouble is, garlic is made of two things: Elmer's glue and pure spite. You'll find tiny bits of it stuck on the side of your knife, underneath your table, on top of the ceiling fan, and a couple pieces behind your ear days after you finish chopping. Sorry... I mean, "mincing." 
4. Chop 2 tablespoons of fresh cilantro. This is a cakewalk compared to garlic, so you cherish it.
5. Juice 1 lime. You don't have a fancy, metal squeezer machine, so you'll have to use your paws. I also recommend wearing safety goggles for this step to avoid irreversible eye damage.
6. Mix the contents of 1-5 in a bowl. Add sea salt and fresh ground pepper to taste. (But you'll realize you forgot to add them several hours after you've finished eating.)
7. Taste test your guacamole with some chips. Chip #1 will be flavorful and delicious. Chip #2 will be a little more realistic. By chip #4 you'll realize that your avocado and your lime probably shouldn't have been the same exact size. You'll later realize that is where your guac went horribly awry. You'll eat it anyway, despite the 30-seconds of involuntary cringing that occurs after each bite.
8. Chop 1 white onion and add it to a saucepan with 6 tablespoons of water. Heat it on medium-high for 2-3 minutes until the onions are softened.
9. Add 2 cups of cooked chickpeas to the pan, along with 2 tablespoons of taco seasoning. You have Pinterest and thus know all, so you won't be using a packet of taco mix. Instead, you'll create your own, because Rachel Ray told you [via her website] that store-bought packets have way too much sodium. In a small dish, stir together 1/2 tablespoon of cumin, 1/2 tablespoon of chili powder, 1/2 tablespoon of garlic powder, 1/2 tablespoon of onion powder, and 1/4 tablespoon of crushed red pepper. Then add it to the pan. Cook uncovered for another 3 minutes until everything is heated through.
10. Assemble your tacos. I added lettuce, tomato, black olives, and a small amount of the lime paste formerly known as guacamole. If you're feeling crazy, you can add hot sauce, tortilla strips, or salsa. As always, you overfilled your first taco and the contents spilled everywhere, urging you to turn the remnants into nachos instead. Because nothing is less messy than trying to balance several round beans on an uneven chip surface. It'll be a cute little circus though.

These were filling and satisfying, though I can't count how many times I caught myself reaching for sour cream or cheese out of habit. Does that go away, fellow vegans? Or will I forever be cursed with visions of string cheese dancing through my head?

Well look at that, we've come full circle! I'm going to go muffle my dairy sobs into a pillow until I cry myself to sleep. (Disclaimer: I get the slightest bit dramatic when I'm tired and I was excessively sleep deprived today, so let's pretend this post never happened.) Tomorrow we delve into the world of vegan cheeses, so stay tuned!